Building relationship with challenging children

I am committing myself to following Positive behaviour management after attending my first of professional development of the Incridible years by MoE in New Zealand. I focus on my body language, and communication with those challenging behaviour children. Before the course, I often frustrated why they act like this – throwing objects, chairs, screaming, hitting and so on. But now I feel they can not help themself. I feel sorry for them. They might need simply cuddling or attention quite often. Cuddle is not always working but I am definitely sure they need to be loved and cared for by someone who they can trust. That is why building relationship is very important for teaching. Gaining their trust is the principle.